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SQUIRRELS







If I were to say squirrel, you might think you know precisely what I am referring to, but I suspect you are wrong. My friend John Whitaker, prof emeritus Indiana State University and co-author of The Mammals of Indiana as well as the National Audubon Society Field Guide to North American Mammals, and one of the top field biologists anywhere or any time could tell us, we must be more specific as several different squirrels coexist with humans in Indiana. Here are the Indiana species:
  • (Eastern) FOX SQUIRREL - our largest squirrel and, as the name implies, a red-orange coloration (see pic); excellent climbers but they probably spend as much or more time on the ground

  • (Eastern) GRAY SQUIRREL - a different species that is about half the size of a fox squirrel and with a white belly. There are populations of both melanistic and albino forms. I grew up near one such famous albino population in Olney (IL), see pic above. Both the fox and gray make a barking sound when upset. While play is not uncommon, both are considered solitary

  • GROUND SQUIRRELS - there are several species but I will limit my comments below to chipmunks

  • RED or PINE SQUIRREL - introduced / naturalized small, active and vocal critters. Their vocalization is distinctive, twills, squeaks and chatter, and much louder than one would expect given their size, essentially ground squirrel size but with a bigger tail (see pic above). I have also heard these cuties referred to as piney's, chickarees and boomers

  • FLYING SQUIRREL - small, secretive and captivating creatures whose long whiskers and large eyes (see pic) give away the fact they are nocturnal. Think Rocket "Rocky" J. Squirrel (see bottom pic, with the amazing June Foray who was Rocky's voice). There are two species in Eastern North America. In Indiana we have the southern flying squirrel. As creatures of the night, they are rarely encountered. -- SIDE NOTE: I recently got the urge to watch (revisit) what, in my opinion, was one of the best TV programs ever -- The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends -- only to be disgusted by the preshow contemporary disclaimer, "some episodes depict negative stereotypes of people or cultures that are wrong and do not align with today's values of inclusivity and representation." The program, which features an all-world cast of voice actors, was and still is highbrow and witty. Is there no limit to the PC crap, the wokedome?


Most of my remaining comments are going to cover the fox and/or gray kinds since, depending on where one lives in Indiana, they are the species most people think of when talking about squirrels, and to the pesky chipmunks. Fox and grays are also the most common species in Indiana. FYI, we have fox and ground squirrels at our 3-acre tract in NE Indianapolis, and occasionally get a visit from a piney. BTW, the name squirrel is of Greek origin (meaning shade tail) presumably in reference to their manner of sitting with bushy tail raised up against the back and over the head thereby casting some shade. Whereas the verb (to squirrel or squirrelling) means to store away for future use -- in reference to their behavior. Another fun fact, male squirrels are called boars and the females sows.

I will first treat the bigger arboreal taxa, the fox and gray. Their summer nest (dreys) are located in the canopy. The winter nests are usually within a tree cavity. They are territorial only in that they will defend food and nesting resources. The negative issues associated with them include:

STEALING - from the vegetable garden, especially tomatoes, and from bird feeders
PRUNING TREES - removing the terminal branches for nesting material in late summer and fall but most of these clipping at my place end up on the ground, the critters having dropped them. Maybe my squirrels are just clumsier :) The pruning can be substantial. I frequently pick up and dispose of at least an oversized wheelbarrow full per large tree. They hammer my large ginkgo just as much or more than my large oaks, but seem to leave the silver maple and hackberry alone
DAMAGING YOUNG WOODY PLANTS - this can be clipping branches, which is a problem when the plants are small, as well as chewing on the thin bark of young saplings, thus potentially girdling the plant, I lost a two-inch diameter sourwood due to squirrel gnawing. The word rodent means to gnaw. They also occasionally snap branches when climbing (i.e., plants prone to breaking like magnolias, especially my treasured Ashe's)
DIGGING / BURYING - looking for food (especially bulbs) and hiding (cashes) in flower beds but also any accessible potted plants
RESERVOIR of mammal parasites - including tapeworms, fleas and ticks. The aforementioned John Whitaker is the world authority on mammal parasites, especially the ectoparasites

PLOYS to keep them at bay include:
  • concoctions that are chemically hot and stinky, I use a homemade garlic, hot pepper, urine solution described on page 200 of my Ranting book.

  • DO NOT use poisons. The dead/poisoned squirrel could be eaten by thus killing another wild resident or a pet which, if it belongs to someone else, could lead to you being deservedly the defendant in a lawsuit, or worse

  • having pets that are allowed outside

  • spending lots of time outside yourself, but like with pets, the squirrels will eventually become braver

  • fencing; banding the plant or item with chicken wire or similar in an attempt to prevent access

  • attach chicken wire to the ground with landscape staples above bulbs to prevent access and digging

  • make the height of the thing they desire to access a minimum of 40 inches high

  • make sure climbable nearby things are at least eight feet away, especially if taller than what they want to access, so as to prevent jumping to; if squirrels decide to leap they can travel all of ten feet

  • limit close access from above

  • don't fall for the strategy of posting a fake plastic bird of prey to scare squirrels away. This approach may actually work for a few days but squirrels are savvy and quickly recognize these decoys as inanimate. Same with birds. Not surprisingly, none of the places selling these fakes will tell you as much because they probably don't know -- just as gullible as you

  • take away the habitat, but don't be an idiot (like Mr. T was in Lake Forest, N Chicago -- as an allergy remedy he resorted to chainsawing healthy old trees)

  • you may have noticed the black metal collars fixed to utility poles, installed to prevent animals (primarily squirrels) from climbing higher; you could try doing this with your trees, although the collar would need to be changed every few years as the trunk diameter increases, and installed so that the collar can expand correspondingly to the increase in trunk diameter; I am NOT recommending this method, merely bringing it to your attention

On a couple of occasions I have seen what I though was a dead squirrel laying prone on the lawn, only to be surprised upon returning a short time later to discover it gone -- rather than dead, evidently a stunned victim of a misjudged leap in the tree overhead.

FULL DISCLOSURE: my father was an outdoorsman. He/we hunted squirrel and I probably consumed 100 pounds of Sciurus (Latin name for squirrel) in my youth. The most disgusting part of the squirrel meal was watching (and hearing) my "Daniel Boone" dad crack open the cooked skull with a spoon to get access to brain and tongue so he could eat them -- almost more revolting now (as memory) than it was then. I remember thinking, if that's what adults do, I never want to grow up. BTW (I still remember) squirrel meat is lean, sweet and, not surprisingly, nutty, and that the best hunting time was twilight since the fox and gray squirrelies are most active then (somewhat crepuscular). While I now find the idea of killing and skinning a squirrel repugnant, it put food on the table way back then.

Now the chipmunks, or chip monkeys as I call them. While they are classified as ground squirrels, don't get the idea chipmunks are not climbers. We regularly see them ascending trees (albeit usually just the main trunk), the brick walls of our house, and scampering across the roof. Moreover, much of what I said about the arboreal nesting species also applies to the chipmunks, but with the following differences:
  • unlike fox and gray squirrels, chipmunk hibernate, although they may break that sleep and emerge if the weather is warm and sunny

  • you will not have to worry as much about Chip and Dale getting to the bird feeder as they do not have the engineering or acrobatic/aerial skills of their arboreal cousins and they seem more anxious, with more sudden movements, which stimulates my cats looking on from the window

  • chipmunks are grounds nesting, these burrows are frequently in soft flower bed soil, often under plants,' the hole can expose roots jeopardizing plants

  • they also commonly chew holes in the plastic fitting used to connect guttering to underground drainage tile; they do so to gain access and take advantage of the potential artificial burrow

I put up with their activity as much as I can. The exception being the burrowing under plants. When I encounter this activity I pour in some of the homemade concoction and/or simply pee into the hole. Free and easy. They usually move on.

Yes, squirrels can occasionally be a pain the ass, but you can probably say the same thing about most (or all) of your human neighbors. Despite the annoyance, we (my family) including my cats (indoor residents) enjoy watching them (i.e., the squirrels), especially the play. By the way, the collective noun for a group of these mammals is a scurry of squirrels (see COLLECTIVE NOUN link on my homepage).

Finally, squirrels belong to the group referred to as rodents, the largest order of mammals (mice, rats, porcupines, woodchuck/marmots, chinchilla, et al.), all of them with large strong chisel-like incisors, but no canines. Because the incisors continue to grow, malocclusion (literally, bad {malaligned} bite) can have serious consequences for rodents. If misaligned, those teeth cannot function to control the sharpness or length. According, there is a strong selection pressure (starvation or romantic rejection, no sex) against rodents with improperly aligned incisors. If only there was a similar force favoring Homo sapiens who present with objectivity and an environmental ethic -- or against those who are otherwise :)

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